Pirate hats are only
to be worn by official, bona fide pirates. Aaaaarrrggghhh, are you
a bona fide pirate with the gusto and verve to wear a pirate hat?
If so, then shiver me timbers, matey come aboard and try on all
the pirate hats that you'd like.
Be sure, you scallywag
that not all pirate hats are the same, either. Some pirate hats
are made from leather and some from other materials such as cashmere,
yellow straw, sea grass, foam, cloth or some combination of dead
buffalos, bailing twine, chewing gum and an emancipated tail feather
from the rare boo-boo bird.
On the other hand, some pirates were so tough and mean, back in
the day, that they would just kill a cow and wear the whole beast
on their heads. With time, aging and weathering, most of the cow
would wear off and a fitted pirate hat would appear.
Legend has it that off the tip of Antigua, the heathen captain
of a doomed vessel named Mary one day slammed a cow and a pelican
together to form one of the most fanciful pirate hats ever seen
by native man, nor beast. This fanciful pirate hat came to be known
as Tom Tom as was treasured by the likes of Black Beard, Blue Beard
and Red Beard alike. Blonde Beard preferred lacy purple hats but
that's a story for another time.
Yes, pirate hats have always been a symbol of masculinity on the high
seas. Whoever held the hat, held the power. In old lore, it was often
known that when pirate vessels attacked each other, the crew would
go for the captain's hat as a sign of conquest and the battle was
over. Of course, the crew would also raid each other's toilet paper
supply as well, since this was a hot commodity on the high seas.
In fact, on the high seas & 7 seas, a 6th sense and a sea breeze
could get a captain far as long as there was no mutiny to knock
off his stylish pirate hat. If there was a mutiny the new captain
would take the old captain entire closet of pirate hats as his own.
So, you think Imelda Marcos had shoes? These pirates had hats!
And, you can too. So, why don't ye scare up yer best pirate voice
and order yourself a butt load of pirate hats today? They will be
perfect for International Talk
Like A Pirate Day or even Halloween and who knows, you may just
get yerself a little booty because of the hat.