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Treasure Chest

A treasure chest is where any self-respecting pirate places his booty. Without a treasure chest, a pirate is just another poor sailor tossed about on the sea, scrubbing his own poop deck.


But, a treasure chest filled with booty is what makes a pirate a pirate. In the past, there have been a few female pirates.

The male pirates have typically fancied the female pirate's chest even more than their own treasure chest.

Arrrr, but this story will have to wait for another day as there may be some lasses and lassies hanging around this pages, whose tender ears dare not hear those tales.

The pirate's treasure chest is typically filled with gold and silver bullion and bars, pillaged and plundered from other ships upon the high seas. Pieces of eight, coins, jewelry, goblets and other various valuables usually overflow the treasure chest. Pirate captains used to keep their treasure chests in their captain's quarter, under lock and key.

Since pirates could not be trusted even on their own ships, the captain usually had a webcam and offshore security monitoring agency eying his treasure chest at all times. Pirates would try to crawl over and under the infrared beams protecting the treasure chest but mostly failed and had to either walk the plank or hang from the yardarm for their insubordination and thievery attempts.

Now, sometimes ships would become shipwrecked or under fire from another vessel and the captain would need to escape in a smaller, swifter craft with his treasure chest and a few trusted pirate crewmembers. In case like these the pirate's treasure chest may have to have been buried in a small nearby island.

Now, there has been much debate as to whether pirates actually created treasure maps or whether the captain and crewmembers would just assign the whereabouts of the treasure chest to memory. No matter since the captain would bury the treasure chest with a GPS tracking device inside and set up a new webcam high upon the nearest palm tree.

The pirate's treasure chest throughout the ages has symbolized wealth, even if ill-gotten (in a Robin Hood-esk kind of way) and the easiness by which that wealth may be transferred from one party to another without paying taxes upon it. Modern day treasure chests are called "loopholes in the IRS tax code."

But, nonetheless, back in the day, a pirate's treasure chest was a thing of beauty. Or, as some liked to call it a thing of booty.


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