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Women
Pirates
Women pirates were few
and far between in the 1600's, 1700's and 1800's as there was quite
the glass ceiling at that time in the piracy industry. At that time,
women were seen as weak, subservient and even property to men, so
female pirates had a lot to prove in the testosterone dominated
Society of Uncivilized Pirates.
Mary Read |
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One of the best-known
women pirates was Anne Bonny, who had no Clyde but she did hook
up with (no, not Captain Hook) Captain Jack Rackam, otherwise known
as "Calico Jack". This dynamic duo of male and female
pirates help plunder the Caribbean for many years.
This happened until one time, that is, when Calico
Jack got drunk, became weak and Anne took on a lesbian relationship
with another woman pirate, Mary Read.
Now, they say "reading is fundamental" so Miss Read and
her pirate pal Bonny took on the meanest and nastiest scallywags
this side of the Antilles. While the male pirates lay drunk below
deck, Bonny and Mary yelled out things like, "I've got PMS
and a sword - any questions?" It was at this point that the
two gal pals would butcher a large number of sober men on the other
vessels.
Bonny and Mary became legends for their ferocity and for kicking
men's butts all over the 7 seas. In fact, it could be heard sung
upon many a boat upon the high seas from other drunken crewmembers,
"My Bonny lies over the ocean. My Bonny lies over the sea.
My Bonnie lies over the ocean. Look at the fun pirates can be."
A few other femme fatale female pirates include the likes of Grace
O'Malley, Charlotte de Berry, Lady Killigrew, Elizabetha Patrickson,
Jacquotte Delahaye, Mary Crickett (sans Jimney), Rachel Wall and Margaret
Jordan (sans Michael). And, one of the few rare and famed Asian women
pirates includes Cheng I Sao (not Tsingtao beer).
Because piracy was a man's profession, the women pirates that did
enter had to do so forcefully, with malice and do it one better
than the men just to survive. And, yes, we are talking about today's
boardroom. But, nonetheless, back in the pirate days, the women
pirates were as vicious as they came and a kiss from a woman pirate
generally meant the kiss of death. Muuuuaaaahhhhhaaaaahhhhaaaahhaaa
Aaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhh!
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