Pirate cakes are fun
the make, serve and especially eat. It's especially fun the wear
a pirate costume as you're making the pirate cake in order to get
into an authentic mood. Once you've donned your favorite pirate
costume and put on the hook (yes, you must put on the hook), then
it's time to start making the pirate cake.
Now, you'll need a few
ingredients before starting on the pirate cake, so a trip to the
grocery store, hardware store and specialty foods store may be in
order. While at the grocery store, buy flour, butter, eggs, frosting
and plenty of arrrrrtichokes.
Yes, you'll have to choke those down as you're eating an otherwise
delightful cake, but the price is worth it.
At the specialty store, pick up some fake blood, real blood, toenail
clippings, oozing puss and a lot of tar-flavored gelatin. Some parrot
feathers, monkey fur and dog spit will also go a long way towards
making the pirate cake a delectable treat.
Once you've arrived home and are still in costume, pour all of
the ingredients in a big blender and blend for a full five minutes.
Now, pour the blended ingredients for the pirate cake into two small
pie tins. Bake in the oven set to 350-degrees for 17 hours. Call
the fire department ahead of time to let them know that the smoke
that will be rolling out of your home is supposed to roll out and
is merely a part of your adventure in baking experience.
Take the blackened, crispy pirate cake out of the oven, and let cool
for five hours. After the pirate cake has cooled, frost liberally
and serve to no one. You may, however, wish to try one tiny piece
yourself and when you do, shout out "Aaaaaaarrrrgggghhhh! This
is the worst cake I've ever tasted." It is at this moment that
you'll know what it was like to be a pirate in the 1700's eating salted
fish and dry biscuits for months on end.