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Pirate Cake

Pirate cakes are fun the make, serve and especially eat. It's especially fun the wear a pirate costume as you're making the pirate cake in order to get into an authentic mood. Once you've donned your favorite pirate costume and put on the hook (yes, you must put on the hook), then it's time to start making the pirate cake.

 
 

Now, you'll need a few ingredients before starting on the pirate cake, so a trip to the grocery store, hardware store and specialty foods store may be in order. While at the grocery store, buy flour, butter, eggs, frosting and plenty of arrrrrtichokes.

Yes, you'll have to choke those down as you're eating an otherwise delightful cake, but the price is worth it.

At the specialty store, pick up some fake blood, real blood, toenail clippings, oozing puss and a lot of tar-flavored gelatin. Some parrot feathers, monkey fur and dog spit will also go a long way towards making the pirate cake a delectable treat.

Once you've arrived home and are still in costume, pour all of the ingredients in a big blender and blend for a full five minutes. Now, pour the blended ingredients for the pirate cake into two small pie tins. Bake in the oven set to 350-degrees for 17 hours. Call the fire department ahead of time to let them know that the smoke that will be rolling out of your home is supposed to roll out and is merely a part of your adventure in baking experience.


Take the blackened, crispy pirate cake out of the oven, and let cool for five hours. After the pirate cake has cooled, frost liberally and serve to no one. You may, however, wish to try one tiny piece yourself and when you do, shout out "Aaaaaaarrrrgggghhhh! This is the worst cake I've ever tasted." It is at this moment that you'll know what it was like to be a pirate in the 1700's eating salted fish and dry biscuits for months on end.



 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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