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Pirate Ships

Pirate ships were some of the most feared vessels in the high seas as they were long and full of seamen. Cries of "Aaaaarrrggghhh!" and "Thar she blows" were common utterances among the pirate ships that caressed the Caribbean waters.


Pirate ships were built for speed, for hauling booty and for fighting. The words "Hand over the booty" were often heard aboard the pirate ships from the crewmen talking to the ladies who were standing on shore. Real pirates knew their vessels inside and out while fakers didn't know their ship from Shinola.

Pirate Ships

  • Slippery sloops
  • Schooners full of ale
  • Barques with no bite
  • Brigantine generals
  • Square riggers in a round hole
  • Friggin' Frigates
  • Wacky Warships

These were some of the typical pirate ships that graced the water and threw fear into all who sailed the high seas (Hi-C's) looking for a Hawaiian Punch. From their flying jibs to the mainmasts to the bulwarks and bulkheads, the pirate ship was the most feared and revered sailing craft to ever break a sailor's rum-filled haze.

Once these pirate ships were bought or stolen from legitimate sources the were usually modified for speed with four-barrel carburetors, glass pack mufflers and a low gear ratio. The pirate ships were also packed with crewmen that were tasked with doing the fighting and taking over other ships taken in battle.

Once a legitimate ship was overtaken, a Jolly Roger restaurant chain was established inside the vessel to provide more income to the entrepreneurial pirates. A skull and crossbones flag was hoisted atop the ship and fish and chips were served to all those who had hardy appetites. Customers could even slurp their soup upon the sloop if they so desired. And, if they mis-ordered the waitress would simply ask, "Jamaica mistaka?"

Now, if the sailing criminals were to overtake a schooner, they would then fill it full of beer and drink out of it. When one vomited from over imbibing, another would typically yell, "Thar she blows!"

Frigates with spigots were prime vessels during the 1600's, 1700's and 1800's since this made it much easier to scrub the poop deck. But, no matter which pirate ship was being targeted the largest treasure one could find was not diamonds, pearls, gold or silver. It was Dramamine.


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