Pirate ships were some
of the most feared vessels in the high seas as they were long and
full of seamen. Cries of "Aaaaarrrggghhh!" and "Thar
she blows" were common utterances among the pirate ships that
caressed the Caribbean waters.
Pirate ships were built
for speed, for hauling booty and for fighting. The words "Hand
over the booty" were often heard aboard the pirate ships from
the crewmen talking to the ladies who were standing on shore. Real
pirates knew their vessels inside and out while fakers didn't know
their ship from Shinola.
- Slippery sloops
- Schooners full of ale
- Barques with no bite
- Brigantine generals
- Square riggers in a round hole
- Friggin' Frigates
- Wacky Warships
These were some of the typical pirate ships that graced the water
and threw fear into all who sailed the high seas (Hi-C's) looking
for a Hawaiian Punch. From their flying jibs to the mainmasts to
the bulwarks and bulkheads, the pirate ship was the most feared
and revered sailing craft to ever break a sailor's rum-filled haze.
Once these pirate ships were bought or stolen from legitimate sources
the were usually modified for speed with four-barrel carburetors,
glass pack mufflers and a low gear ratio. The pirate ships were also
packed with crewmen that were tasked with doing the fighting and taking
over other ships taken in battle.
Once a legitimate ship was overtaken, a Jolly Roger restaurant
chain was established inside the vessel to provide more income to
the entrepreneurial pirates. A skull and crossbones flag was hoisted
atop the ship and fish and chips were served to all those who had
hardy appetites. Customers could even slurp their soup upon the
sloop if they so desired. And, if they mis-ordered the waitress
would simply ask, "Jamaica mistaka?"
Now, if the sailing criminals were to overtake a schooner, they
would then fill it full of beer and drink out of it. When one vomited
from over imbibing, another would typically yell, "Thar she
Frigates with spigots were prime vessels during the 1600's, 1700's
and 1800's since this made it much easier to scrub the poop deck.
But, no matter which pirate ship was being targeted the largest
treasure one could find was not diamonds, pearls, gold or silver.
It was Dramamine.